LaRita Archibald

BLESSED are those who recognize our grief is compounded; that we grieve
    the death of a beloved person but foremost, we grieve the cause of the
    death...suicide.
BLESSED are those who give us permission to mourn the loss of one dearly
    loved, free of judgment, censure and shame.
BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the repose of our
    loved one's soul with the truth that God is All-Knowing, All-Loving and
    All-Forgiving.
BLESSED are those who don't offer the meaningless cliché, "Time Heals",
    because, for a long while, the passing of time holds no meaning or value
    for us.
BLESSED are those who don't say, "I know just how you feel", but instead
    say, "I am here for you.  I will not tire of your tears or your words of
    sorrow and regret."
BLESSED are those who have the patience and love to listen to our
    repetitive obsession with WHY? without offering useless answers or
    explanations.
BLESSED are those who reaffirm the worth of our deceased beloved by
    sharing memories of his/her goodness and times of fun, laughter and
    happiness.
BLESSED are the mental health care providers who explain to us that, very
    probably, our loved one died of a terminal illness called depression.
BLESSED are those who challenge our sense of omnipotence with the
    reminder that no one has enough power or control over another to cause
    them to end their life.
BLESSED are the first responders to our loved one's suicide who try to
    relieve our sense of guilt and responsibility by assuring us "This death is
    not your fault".
BLESSED are those who lend acceptance to the value of the relationship
    we shared with the one who died by allowing us to speak of them and
    'what might have been'.
BLESSED are those that allow and encourage us to use our loved one's
    death in a manner that gives our loss and grief meaning and purpose.
BLESSED are those who do not expect us to find "closure", "grief
    resolution", "recovery" or to "be healed", understanding that these terms
    define 'grief work in progress' that will take the rest of our life.
BLESSED are community caregivers who direct us to suicide bereavement
    support groups where our anguish is understood, our loss validated and
    where we are encouraged by the example of others who have traveled
    this road before us.
BLESSED are long-term survivors after suicide who role-model not only can
    we survive, but, in time, we can thrive…we can regain peace of mind,
    restored confidence, renewed productivity and a revived zest for living.

©LRA/2000


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