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BLESSED are those
who recognize our grief is compounded; that we grieve
the death of a beloved person but foremost, we grieve
the cause of the
death...suicide.
BLESSED are those who give us permission to mourn the loss of one
dearly
loved, free of judgment, censure and shame.
BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the
repose of our
loved one's soul with the truth that God is
All-Knowing, All-Loving and
All-Forgiving.
BLESSED are those who don't offer the meaningless cliché,
"Time Heals",
because, for a long while, the passing of time holds no
meaning or value
for us.
BLESSED are those who don't say, "I know just how you
feel", but instead
say, "I am here for you. I will not tire of
your tears or your words of
sorrow and regret."
BLESSED are those who have the patience and love to listen to our
repetitive obsession with WHY? without offering useless
answers or
explanations.
BLESSED are those who reaffirm the worth of our deceased beloved
by
sharing memories of his/her goodness and times of fun,
laughter and
happiness.
BLESSED are the mental health care providers who explain to us
that, very
probably, our loved one died of a terminal illness
called depression.
BLESSED are those who challenge our sense of omnipotence with the
reminder that no one has enough power or control over
another to cause
them to end their life.
BLESSED are the first responders to our loved one's suicide who
try to
relieve our sense of guilt and responsibility by
assuring us "This death is
not your fault".
BLESSED are those who lend acceptance to the value of the
relationship
we shared with the one who died by allowing us to speak
of them and
'what might have been'.
BLESSED are those that allow and encourage us to use our loved
one's
death in a manner that gives our loss and grief meaning
and purpose.
BLESSED are those who do not expect us to find
"closure", "grief
resolution", "recovery" or to "be
healed", understanding that these terms
define 'grief work in progress' that will take the rest
of our life.
BLESSED are community caregivers who direct us to suicide
bereavement
support groups where our anguish is understood, our
loss validated and
where we are encouraged by the example of others who
have traveled
this road before us.
BLESSED are long-term survivors after suicide who role-model not
only can
we survive, but, in time, we can thrive…we can regain
peace of mind,
restored confidence, renewed productivity and a revived
zest for living.
©LRA/2000
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